Oh Jill!!   This is indeed incredibly stressful!!!!  The anxiety is what is triggering you, without a doubt!!  UP YOUR MEDS!!  And if you can, see if you can get some kind of medicine which will deal with the anxiety!

I wish I knew how to help you.  Have you thought to apply to the government, in that perhaps there is a job opening with a government agency like the NIH?  They put out a huge amount of studies and articles which someone with your qualifications would be very needed.  It's a thought, anyway.

I'm most certainly praying for you, but I'll pray more.  All I can say is this, the doors may be closed for now, but they won't always be so.  A closed door is not without a purpose and it may be closed but only for a short time period.  Don't close your mind with that door.  I understand the feelings of returning to your parents, but this may not be the negative thing you're thinking of.  Too many of us Americans are made to believe that living with our parents means we've " FAILED"  and this is sooo wrong!  Living here in Brazil has given me a totally NEW viewpoint on this for the vast majority of adult children remain in their parent's homes until they are married.  Both of my adult children live at home still and this is considered normal and healthy for both parties.  My kids have not failed in anything and instead, it provides for them a normal, healthy and balanced living arrangement.  Yes, there are times they'd like the freedom that living on their own would provide, but as you well know, living on your own isn't what it's cracked up to be.  Look at it as an opportunity to get to know your parents as an adult now and no longer as a child.   It may open up new doors for a better relationship with your parents than you coul possible acheive were you in your own apartment, so don't look at it from a negative viewpoint, it may turn out to be a real blessing instead.

Nevertheless, I'm praying for you Jillie!

Lisa

You have to put your faith in the Lord and trust in him to get you through. I have found this is the only way that you will get through. I wish you the best in your search. I know exactly where you are and how it feels to lose your job. I lost my after 34 years without warning and now I am without a job again 4 years later due to this masto stuff and all my problems but my faith is strong and I know the Lord gets us through the tough times. When I lost my first job I found that the book of JOB in the Bible was a lot of help for me along with a lot of praying and talking to the Lord.
We will send prayers for you.
Rosemary :)

hey Jbean...

sending good vibes your way... where are you and what kind of job are you looking for... maybe we can help spread the word of a good candidate available...  That may take care of your insurance problem as well!

I understand if it's too personal to put out here, you can also send me a message.. I've been pretty good at helping people with jobs (at least int he past.. I know it's bad right now), updating resumes etc.. I'm in IT but my background is in HR.  I've also lived and have contacts in the northeast, southeast and now here int he midwest...