DeborahW, Founder
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Reply from lisathuler
Hi Kim!
As to the thanksgiving card, it's not arrived yet - but I've not lost hope! There are times things seem to get sent off to Belize, believe it or not! I had a card that took about 2 months to reach me for this very reason! It was stamped on it NOT BELIZE! All I can figure is that the guy in Maimi ( or wherever) was a bit tipsy and when he flung the card he flung it into the wrong box and said, Well it's a B country anyway! hahahahaha! We're also waiting on a box coming in from the States and gracious knows when that will reach us! So, don't tell her yet that it's not reached me, please! Let's keep waiting a bit.
I'm sorry to hear that she keeps getting sicker! I oh so hope and pray that Dr. Carter's intervention there will help open up the doors for Brie there! I'm really hoping that having Dr. Metcalfe's interest here will help open that door that the one doctor thought was impossible to open! It's one thing for us adults to go through this torture, it's a whole different ballgame for them babies!
I'm REALLY REALLY HAPPY to hear about the allergist! This is really GOOD news! You've got to have someone from home taking care of her and this is good! Kim, ANY KIND OF INFORMATION YOU NEED, IF I'VE GOT IT, IT'S YOURS! I KNOW that the others will gladly do the same! We can swamp this doctor of yours with more information on masto than he ever knew existed! You just get his email address and let us know and we'll swamp you with all the LITERATURE that doctor needs for the remainder of his days!!!! If he's open to accepting our help, I'm certainly willing to send to you whatever I can to help teach him! So, let us know!
As to this doctor and the NIH, the more I think about it the happier I am that if you can get her into the undiagnosed study this is great because there may be more going on with her than anybody has ever guessed! To get to the bottom of whatever is bugging Brie, it's good for them to look at her with fresh eyes!
I'll be anxiously waiting to hear how it all goes! But how is she manageing these days, Kim? Is she back to school and doing okay, or is she struggling to get through classes? Have you considered by chance doing some home schooling with her? There are some excellent curriculum out there for schooling children and since she's so young, this may be an attractive thing to do. Granted, you do work, but what about a family member? Alpha Omega is a wonderful school curriculum in which the child is pretty much their own teacher and the parent or teacher only steps in at the time the child needs that extra help. Perhaps Brie would be better off in an atmosphere were she didn't have to try to keep up with the other kids and could go at her own pace when she's feeling well and then when she's not, she's not pressed too hard. I went to a gradeschool that used this curriculum and they used it for us kids who had fallen behind in our schools. My mother saw that when she took my 3 brothers and I from public school and put us into a Catholic school that all three of us feel totally behind due to the changes in the methods of teaching. At the public school there were no requirements to study, do homework, or anything! When I got into the Catholic school in 5th grade I'd never even heard of the word Essay before and was totally lost as to what one was or even how to write it! Needless to say not a single one of us lasted 2 years in that school and we each were threatened with failing our 2nd years there! The school I was put into was a specialized school in kids who were struggling and I was able to catch up the 2 I'd almost failed and get back into my own grade as well as prepare the the year ahead in only 2 years of schooling! I am one of those who does better at teaching myself and going at my own pace than that of having to keep up with the class! The teacher's voice of YADA YADA YADA drones on with me and I lose interest easily - this is why I'd get lost cause I'd go off into Lala Land with my imagination! Yep! Another Calvin!
Anyway, a kid like Brie, who isn't feeling well to begin with finds that keeping their attention to the Yada Yada is more punishment than the illness itself! And if she's not feeling well, then it's pure torture to be in class. If she's not doing well, Kim, don't grieve at her being out of school so much. I'm a school principal and I work with kids and their difficulties with learning and this is something I would suggest to any one of the parents in my school who was faced with just such a situation. There are some kids who are BETTER off not in the school room and even in the school itself. Education should not be intended to force the child into the mold, but to fit itself around the child's needs. So much in life teaches us and we learn as we go along. Once a child has been taught to read and write, or as they say in Portuguese - alphabetized - they take these skills and grow with them. I was not taught Portuguese, I learned it by listening. Yet when I got into university here in Brazil I'd been speaking the language for a few years but I was totally illiterate! I managed to read but one book in Portuguese before I had to take my entrance exams and yet, even though my Portuguese was so pathetic, I managed to pass in the upper 10% of those who were doing the entrance exams! All through college I kept struggling, taking dictation even from my professors, but I kept pushing along and each year my notebooks showed a gradual improvement in my ability to write the language! I had to take a Portuguese class right along with my classmates and yet somehow, by God's grace, I passed for my professor sure didn't want me to! He was indignant to the fact that the illiterate Americana was able to pass in his class when he had others who had to cheat and still couldn't get by! He called me a warrier in front of the next years class due to how hard I fought my battles! But this was an incredible lesson for me as an adult and as an educator and it taught me that once you've got those skills of reading and writing, the rest is a piece of cake for you must use those skills to build all of your knowledge upon and the older the child gets, the more it all falls into place.
I'm not saying that Brie can just skip school and then pick up easily where she left off, it's not like that, but as long as you can help her to become a fluent reader this is the key to it all. A child can indeed have their first years of school totally wasted due to illness or travel or whatnot and it won't destroy their education! Although the first years of school are where the foundation is laid, it's the last few years that the student is formed! Those are the years which are more important for her future, not those first few. Those first few are all years of alphabetization - or in other words, that of forming her understanding of the tools of reading and reasoning, but the information that the children are taught is not as essencial beyond that of learning to read, write and work with their math skills. The reason why is because the child's brain must mature until it's to a point of taking that information and connecting the dots with it. THIS point of connecting the dots come when a child is in 5th and 6th grades and their brain is more mature and they begin to reason out effects and consequences and that kind of thing. From about 5th grade on is when a child leaves it's infancy as to learning and begins to move on towards more adult like reasoning processes. It's those years where illness will then trip up a child most for then they get behind and then they also get discouraged. Brie's at a good age right now, Kim in that if you can concentrate her studies on her reading and writing and get her reading books - instill this desire to read in her - then you've got the foundation you need to get her through this situation she's in now with her studies. This is another reason why home schooling may be ideal for her in that it's not a complicated age for teaching children. It will also buy for you and her the time you both are needing for her doctors to finally figure out what is wrong and to get her stabilized so that she can get back to school and back into the demands of school life.
This is what, as her mom you need to concentrate upon - not just her health, but the overal aspect of her life and how she's living it. Fewer demands upon her physically will keep her more stable. The more limited exposure to viruses and such, the healthier she will be. The more she'll be able to give attention to her studies and the easier learning will be.
Well, I've rambled on long enough but these are some of what my thoughts are about your situation with her. Like I said, I'm a school principal and a teacher and I know how kids are in the classroom when they aren't feeling well. Heck, I know how I AM in the class when I'm not feeling well! I honestly don't know how I got through this year, to tell you the truth! My substitute teacher ended up disappearing on me after my surgery! I went into surgery in early June and wasn't expecting to even show my face at my school until late September! But my sub disappeared and we didn't have anybody else and so I dragged myself in for classes after our winter break in July and from August on I was there and had another teacher in there to help me! It was a comedy to watch! My kids were working on plaster sculptures (it was a great project!) and they had a blast, but it's such a riotous mess that I had them on the patio out back with all of their scraping and sanding of the sculptures and I had to keep tottering out there like an old lady to keep abreast of their work so that they wouldn't bring the mess into the building!
One last thought Kim - about learning. Kids learn so very easily that it's incredible! My children were able to fluently translate for their grandmothers (my mother and my mother-in-law) by the time they were each 2 years of age! They could switch from Portuguese to English and back again at the flip of a switch, whereas I STILL struggle with Portuguese! Children have a resilience within their minds that leave us adults gasping for breath and what you may fear is a total loss of a year is in reality absolutely NOTHING for Brie! Don't fear her missing out on some school! As long as you give her books to read that are interesting SHE WILL READ THEM! Forget totally about books that go as according to her "reading level" that's trash! Yep, you heard me, this thing of children reading books as according to their "reading level" is total trash and my own kids are proof to this! Children will read anything that is INTERESTING TO THEM! And that's how it should be! I did not teach my children to read in English! They were fluent speakers in English from the time they were born and English is the first language they heard and it's all we speak in my home. But when they got into school, they had to learn to read and write in Portuguese (which they spoke with everybody else but me and my husband). I tried teaching my eldest how to read in English at the same time and it was a mistake. It created confusion and I realized that since Portuguese is the native language here in Brazil it was only right for me to give way. Her whole educational career was going to be in Portuguese and I had to recognized that this was what was right. So I backed off. What I didn't know then was that the process of being alphabetized in a Western tongue which relies upon our alphabet and uses the same gramatical processes means that the only major difference between the two languages are that you've got two words or more for every item and so it's a question of vocabulary more than anything else, so I relaxed as to teaching my kids to read and write in English. Instead, I instilled in them a love of reading! I'd always read to my children from the time they were babies - it was part of the bedtime ritual and this is what made the difference. Their grandfather decided to give my eldest two a series of Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew when my two eldest were 8 and 9 and THIS is what got them going! They no sooner finished up those books than they began rifling the books we have for others literature and they both began working their ways up into MY small library! My daughter when she was about 13 was reading Pride and Prejudice and LOVING JANE AUSTEN! My son really got into reading the Michael Shaara books on the civil war and such! My kids in their early teens were already at adult reading levels and could have cared less and certainly didn't even know it! They LOVE to read and that's all that's mattered and if you were to sit down and get a letter from them, you'd see that their thought processes and capacity to write clearly are just as good as any other kid coming out of highschool in the States. This was an incredible lesson for me as an educator as to how children learn and as long as you spark their interest, they'll not only learn anything you've got to teach them, they'll take over and end up giving you class instead!
So, Kim, RELAX! Don't fret yourself too much about Brie and her classes. She'll catch up! As long as you teach her the love of reading, you will help her to keep up with her age group and when her health situation improves and stabilizes you will have a much happier child for not haveing been constantly under the gun due to your worries of not keeping up. She'll catch up, believe me! And she'll want to be in school for how much she's missed out due to how sick she's been. The set back is temporary and in the long run - years from now when she's graduating from highschool and going into college you will see how really so very little she's missed out with these first years. The key here is her reading ability, the rest will follow!
Lisa
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